The Kunoichi

Ok, here it is :-) It's still kind of ruff but it's getting there. let me know what you think!

The Kunoichi

It was 12 years ago. 12 years ago when Suki’s destiny was revealed. A daughter of the Gedan clan, she lived a quiet life, a private life. She spent her days playing with the other children, learning to cook, fetch water and all the other everyday necessities that every woman needed to know how to do. She would pick medicinal herbs with the village healers and help her father in his shop. It was the perfect life. She was surrounded by the people who loved her and there was always something new and exciting to learn or do. It wasn’t until one fateful night that everything would change. That night, filled with ashes and fear, would change Suki’s life forever.
That night, as Suki was helping her father polish and put away his tools, she began to smell something. Something not right. It was ashes, no, not ashes but fire. The pure, harsh smell that only fire could bring. Suddenly, there were screams. “The village is on fire!” “The village is under attack!” people screamed outside. Her father quickly came to her side.
“Suki, you have to hide,” he told her. “You have to go. Do you remember where I told you to hide?” He asked. Suki shook her head yes, unable to speak. “Good girl. Now go. Run.” he told her, and so she ran.
There was a patch of thick bushes not too far out into the woods behind her house. There, her father had dug a small hole that one to two people could hide down in. this is where he had wanted her to go.
As she ran, she heard screams. Screams filled with fear and agony. Screams filled with the crackling gasp of prolonged pain until finally they were followed by a silence that could only be brought by death. She did not know what was going on. Her village had never done anything. Her village was a peaceful village. Its ninjas worked on nothing but state business. Nothing corrupt, nothing self determined. Yet, as she ran, she remembered seeing one thing. She remembered the red and black flag of Lord Masato, the very leader that her clan was working for. It was that image, the image of the Masato Empire’s flag that would forever stay in her mind. It was this image that she would think of many times throughout her life. It was this image that would come to mind: This flag, flying freely in the wind, surrounded by death and blood so red that it mocked the flag’s pale redness in comparison.
Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Suki made it to the shallow hole in the bushes. She was covered in scratches and dirt but otherwise, she was safe. Where was her father? Where was her mother? When would they come? As she lay there, listening to the battle cries and ear piercing screams, screams so agonizing that they took away the very air from Suki’s lungs, Suki began to realize that they weren’t coming. No one was coming and nothing was ever going to be the same.
With this realization, she shut her ears off from the world. Unwilling to hear the screaming anymore, unwilling to hear the pain. She shut her nose off. Unwilling to smell the heavy scent of death that drifted into the woods. Finally, she shut her brain off. Unable and unwilling to think that everyone and everything she knew and loved, would no longer be there when she woke up and would never be there again.
When Suki awoke, she didn’t know where she was. She had thought that she was dead. Wished that she was dead, just like the rest of her friends and family. As fate would have it, however, she didn’t die. Instead, she had been found by one of the leaders of the Doko Clan, a neighboring clan to the Gedans and more importantly, their ally. They had come to help when news of the attack spread but had been too late. All they found were ashes of a once thriving village, death and a small, burned but otherwise uninjured, girl hidden within a patch of bushes.
Suki blinked her eyes a few times. Visions of the previous night’s events filled her mind, allowing fear and panic to rise instantly within her chest. Where was she? Was she a captive? Should she hide? Should she run? Before she had time to make any action at all, a small set of chestnut brown eyes met her own, now panicking, Amber ones.
“You’re awake?” questioned the small voice the came from the same face as the chestnut brown eyes.
She blinked her eyes again, unsure of how to answer or act.
“Pa, Pa, She’s awake,” said the voice again. It was a boy speaking. He looked to be her age but she had never seen him before. More worries of where she was began to fill her mind.
“So I see,” replied a man as he entered the room.
He looked to be about Suki’s father age but other than age, couldn’t have been more different from him. Unlike her father, who always wore a smile and simple craftsman clothing, this man’s face was hard and weathered from obvious years of ninja field work. If Suki had had any doubt about his ninja experience from his face alone, her assumption was quickly confirmed as she recognized the partial ninja shinobi shozoko and tabi boots he wore.
“Now stop scaring the girl to death and go out and help your mother, Takeshi.”
“Yes sir,” the boy replied, and then he was gone.
Suki was now alone with the man. She didn’t know what to do or what to say. Who was he? What did he want? Was she a prisoner? His captive? Would she be forced into slavery? A thousand questions began to form in her mind. Anything to keep herself busy, busy enough to keep from, once again, remembering the previous night’s events. Suki’s nerves began to electrify the very air within the room.
“You need not be afraid,” the man said, “You may not know me but I know you. I was a friend of your father. My name is Keiji of the Doko Clan and I was the one who found you last night after the attack.”
“Do you know what happened to my father? My mother?” Suki asked, although already knowing the answer.
“I am afraid that they have passed on. You are now the only remaining Gedan ninja,” he replied.
“I’m not a ninja.”
“No, but you will be, If you want to be. There are troubling things happening in the world Suki. If we are to continue on, we must learn to defend ourselves and our family.”
“But I’m not a ninja. I don’t know how to defend anyone, let alone myself.”
“Do you want to be able to defend yourself?”
“Yes.”
“That is all it takes Suki. If you want to do something then you will find a way to accomplish it. With determination and dedication, I believe that you will thrive in anything you wish to accomplish. However, if you do not wish to follow the Ninja path, I am in no way going to force you. Your father once told me that you are a very skilled herbalist. If you wish, I can introduce you to the village herbalist; perhaps she will take you on as her apprentice.”
“Wait. If I become a ninja, I’ll be able to protect people? I will be able to protect people and prevent others from being harmed like my family was?”
“That is correct, after you finish your training of course.”
“And I will be able to stop people like Masato?”
“Yes, you will also be able to stop people like Masato. Our clan does not work for a sole leader. Instead, we go where we are needed, making sure that peace between the clans continue and all is stable. If you chose to become a ninja, it will become your job to protect both the people and the greater good of Japan.”
Suki didn’t need much more convincing. From then on, Suki knew she would make her life about becoming a skilled ninja and in doing so, becoming a protector of the people. Soon after her burns had healed, she began training in the art of the Ninja. She had to become a ninja, if for nothing else, to stop people, people like Masato, from doing to anyone else what he had done to her family, her clan. So she practiced.
Her very first day of training Suki was given a set of shuriken and a Bokken. She was then placed within the youngest group of Ninja trainees. It was with this group of eight or so children that Suki would practice with and learn the secrets that every ninja needed to know. Unfortunately for Suki, Masaru was also in this group. Masaru was Suki’s friend. No, not her friend. Her rival. Anything she could do, he somehow found a way to do it better. She hated him. Suki didn’t like to lose and Masaru always stood in her way of winning. He had become her rival, her enemy, the moment she began training on her first day.
It was during target practice, which consisted of throwing the shuriken at targets of different heights from difference distances. Suki’s throws were awkward and forced. She didn’t hit the targets, she wasn’t even close. Masaru on the other hand, hit every target. After doing so with great ease, he then proceeded to make it his goal to show Suki everything she had done wrong and how she should throw her own shuriken if she wanted to do it “correctly”.
“If you flick your wrist like that you’ll never hit the targets. Don’t the Gedans teach their kids anything? Now here, flick you wrist just like this… no, like this… are you watching?”
Suki instantly detested him.
After taking all the “advice” she could handle, Suki made it her goal to become the best and she quickly outranked all the other students. All but one. Suki’s skills grew strong, however, and Masaru was no longer able to make simple remarks about her imperfections. He now had to focus on every little detail of his skills to be sure that he was the victor in their matches. It didn’t matter what the training was, they competed. Bokken duels, dart practice, balance conditioning; they always spared and he always beat her.
As they grew older and older they became more and more competitive. It wasn’t just ninja skills anymore. It was everything. His horse was better groomed; his house’s roof was better thatched. In fact, he even learned to pick medicinal herbs, getting to the healthiest and best herbs before her. As their competitiveness rose, so did Suki’s temper. She was tired of being in second place. She had to beat him, if only once.

Finally, after ten years of practice, the time came for an initial mission to be granted to the top performing ninja trainee. This was what every ninja trainee prayed for, the one day that they could prove their skills, prove that they were ready to be trusted in the field.
Suki waited anxiously with the group, holding her breath as their teacher began to speak, “You have all trained hard and I am proud of each and every one of you. It was not an easy decision to make. However, the other elders and I have decided that this year’s mission will not be a lone mission.”
The students began to stir. The whole purpose of being given a mission was to prove you could work as a ninja. Alone.
“This year,” the elder continued “the mission will be given to two of our top performing students. They have performed so well that we could not grant a mission to merely one or the other. Therefore, the two students who will be working together on their initial mission shall be Masaru and Suki.”
Suki has expected Masaru. She had planned on his look of triumph as he headed to the elder’s building to receive his mission. She had hoped, prayed even, that she would be chosen instead. Now, she would have to work with Masaru as a team. Perhaps, Suki thought as she and Masaru headed to the elder’s building, the fates have a sick sense of humor.
The elders were all very gracious with their compliments and praise. They thought that they were bestowing a great honor upon Suki. Little did they know that Suki would have rather been used as a target for Shuriken practice than be stuck with Masaru on a two day mission. The mission itself was simple enough. The Hlea Clan had developed a new formula for pain killer. The formula’s instructions would be dangerous in the wrong hands and the Hlea clan, being a smaller and less equipped clan, had decided to give the formula’s instructions to the Doko clan to protect. Masaru and Suki’s job would be to pick the instructions up in the Hlea village and bring them safely back to the Doko village without being intercepted. They were to leave the next night.
“I don’t know what they are thinking. Those old men have finally gone insane,” said Suki to Keiji and Takeshi one day.
“Hey, watch it,” Said Keiji who was also one of the elders.
“I mean it. Can’t everyone see that Masaru and I don’t get along? We hate each other. The last thing I want to do is go on a mission with a man who does nothing but compete against me. He’ll probably get us both killed,” replied Suki.
“Suki, the reason he treats you like this is because he likes you! He’s always liked you! How could you not notice,” said Takeshi, obviously irritated. He’d never liked Masaru either. Whether it was because of Masaru’s smugness or the look that he always gave Suki when she wasn’t looking, he didn’t know.
“Yes, I would say that Masaru has a great affection for you Suki. You should feel very honored to have him think so highly of your skills that he feels the need to compete with you, “said Keiji.
“Now the two of you have gone crazy as well. Masaru and I are rivals. The only thing that he likes about me is that he can beat me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with death. I mean, my mission with Masaru.”
“Well, have fun and don’t get killed,” the two men called out in unison as Suki left the room. After she left, they shook their heads. She was brilliant in many ways but Suki simply did not understand romance in any shape or form.

“Well, I’m here, let’s get going,” said Suki as she met up with Masaru.
“It’s about time, thanks to you we probably won’t get there until after dark,”
“Well, we definitely won’t get there before dark if you keep standing here talking nonsense. Let’s go,”
This is going to be a long two days, Suki thought to herself. She didn’t know how she was going to survive this but she knew that she couldn’t be the weak link. She’d never hear the end of it. So as they made their way out of the village and into the woods, Suki made it her secret mission to drive herself harder and stronger than she ever had before. She’d show him who was the better ninja, who should have been solely given this mission.
It did not take long for Suki and Masaru to get to where they were going. Just after night fall, they reached the Hlea village.
“Stay here while I go and find one of the village elders,” Masaru said to Suki.
“Like Hell I’m going to stay here, we’ll stay together,” said Suki. Knowing Masaru he’d make her stay there and then when the time came, would tell everyone how he had single handedly completed the mission.
“You’d better rest your legs. We’re heading back tonight as soon as we get the formula.”
“Are you crazy? The elders told us to remain in the Hlea village until day break. It’s not smart to travel in the woods after dark with such valuable information.”
“Are you a ninja or not? No ninja waits until tomorrow to get done what he can do today. We’ll leave tonight.”
“Fine, but I’m going with you to find the elder, if anyone needs a rest it’s you, I could have heard your huffing a mile away,”
“You’re one to talk, if you had stepped on that many twigs in enemy territory you would have been dead.”
With that the two glared profusely at each other and without saying another word, made their way into town and quickly found the elder they had been told to locate. Several hours of dining and discussion later, the two made their way back into the woods. They were headed home with the formula in hand. During their time in the village, it had grown quite dark. The moon was a mere sliver in the sky. It seemed to be smiling at the sheer amusement of Suki and Masaru’s silent glares and facial expressions that were being exchanged through the darkness.
“I have to stop for a moment,” Suki said quietly “I need to fix my shoe.” Suki knew they weren’t too far from the Doko village but she couldn’t take the looseness in her shoe any longer.
“Let me see,” said Masaru as he walked over to Suki.
“No, it’s fine. I can handle it”
“Just give it over, you’ll take all night if you do it yourself,” said Masaru as he reached for the shoe in Suki’s hand.
“I said I can handle it,” replied Suki as she lunged back, trying to dodge his grab.
Suddenly, with the change in weight from having only one shoe on and the force of her lung, Suki lost her balance. Masaru, seeing Suki fall, grabbed for her and, unable to stabilize the both of them, also lost his balance. They fell together, landing in what they thought was a small mud hole.
“Damn it. Now look what you’ve done. Didn’t I tell you just to let me do it?” said Masaru as he tried to climb out of the mud.
“Stop moving,” said Suki frantically “We’re in a man killing swamp. Don’t move, the more you move the faster we’ll sink.”
Sure enough, Suki and Masaru had fallen into a so called ‘man killing swamp’. Every year, land slides created these swamps and, working as quick sand, they would cause several deaths throughout Japan. Once trapped, there was no way to get out. They were stuck. Stuck together. Alone. Worse of all, Masaru was extremely close to Suki. Too close for comfort and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
“Would you move your hand, it’s too close to my chest,” said Suki irritated.
“You think I want to be this close to you? This is all your fault you know, if you hadn’t needed to stop, we’d be at the village already,”
“My fault? My fault? Are you crazy? If we’d stayed in the Hlea villages, like the elders told us to I might add, we never would have been in the woods In the first place and I wouldn’t have needed to stop at all,”
“Stop moving…You’re making us sink quicker.”
With that, Masaru and Suki fell into silence. They stayed silence through most of the night until the silence became intolerable for Suki. She would have preferred to argue. At least when she was arguing, she wasn’t thinking about the death trap they were stuck in. As she sat there, thinking of any possible way to get herself out of this mess, she began to notice a particular smell. The smell itself wouldn’t have seemed odd if, in fact, wild hydrangeas grew in this particular section of Japan. However, they did not and Suki was left somewhat amazed.
“You smell of ajisai,”
“Yes, well, you smell of mud,”
“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to be nice once and a while. I was paying you a compliment. Oh, don’t look now but I think you have a beetle on your shoulder,”
“What? Where? Get it off,”
“On your right shoulder. How am I supposed to get it off, I’m not supposed to move, remember?”
“I don’t care, just get it off!”
“Wait… you couldn’t possibly be afraid of bugs, could you?”
“What? No, I just…”
“You are. You’re afraid of bugs. The mighty Masaru is afraid of a little beetle.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“uh oh, don’t look now Masaru but the beetle is climbing towards your neck.”
“Get it off!”
“I knew it. I knew you were afraid. Hold on, hold on.”
Suki slowly moved her arm towards Masaru and removed the beetle. The action had not only brought Suki closer to Masaru but also caused them to sink deeper into the mud, their chests now covered and their necks straining to remain above the surface.
“hehehe. You’re never going to live this down you know. Just wait until I get back to the village,”
“Oh shut up. We’ll be luck to get back to the village at all,”
“The mighty Masaru is afraid of bugs, who knew,” said Suki between giggles.
“I’m warning you, if you don’t shut up I can’t be held responsible for my actions,”
“What are you going to do? You’re neck high in mud. Now hush before I set that beetle back on your shoulder and listen to you squeal like a girl…”
As Suki was speaking, Masaru closed the small distance between them and as silent as one of his attacks, he kissed Suki upon the lips. It wasn’t a delicate kiss, nothing about Masaru was delicate, but it wasn’t a rushed or forceful kiss either. No, this kiss was gentle and powerful all at the same time. It brought fire to Suki’s lips that seemed to travel through her whole body.
“Finally, some peace and quiet,” said Masaru as he pulled away from her.
Suki let out a scream. It had gone against every ninja teaching she had learned but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t know if it was from shock or anger or happiness but she did. She screamed.
“Would you shut up! You’re going to get us killed,” said Masaru.
“Good. You deserve to die. Pervert,” said Suki. She was ready to kill him, ready to use him for target practice. How dare he, kissing her like that. Who did he think he was?
Before Suki was able to yell at Masaru further, they began to hear foot steps.
“See what you’ve done?” said Masaru.
“Did you ever think that those footsteps are coming from the direction of our village?” said Suki after she yelled for help again.
Not too much longer they were greeted by Keiji, Takeshi and several other villagers. They two were pulled from the Mud swamp and were escorted home. Neither said another world to each other and neither spoke a word about the kiss.

After the mission, everything changed. Suki no longer noticed things in the same way. She and Masaru still competed but now it was different. As they spared, she no longer noticed the icy glares he gave her as he dodged her attacks. Instead, she noticed the scent of ajisai that seemed to radiate from Masaru no matter where he was or what he was doing. That scent was a constant reminder of their night together. No longer did she think about how arrogant he was as he beat her in target practice. Instead, she now noticed how his rough and callused finger tips gently touched her wrist as he, for the thousandth time, showed her how to get a better angle on her targets. Yes, everything had changed, Suki’s heart included. Masaru was no longer just Suki’s rival, he was also her first love.
One day Masaru joined Suki in the woods are she gathered herbs. “Suki, I need to talk to you about something,” Masaru said, seeming a bit hesitant.
“Go on,” Suki said as she tried to remember if she was out of Aconite root or Cornus fruit.
“Well, as you may know, Masato has sent out word that he wants to recruit ninjas from all of the clans. He says he wants to help build a unified Japan. Well, you see Suki, what I’m trying to say is, well….I’m leaving tomorrow. I wanted you to be the first to know. I’m going to go work in the city, for Masato and his cause. I would like… I hope that when I come back, that perhaps you would accept my hand in marriage,” Masaru asked.
As he finished speaking, Suki dropped the basket of herbs she had been carrying.
“What are you saying? You’re leaving? You’re leaving your friends, family, me… to go and work for Masato? For that murderer?”
“Suki, that was a long time ago. Things have changed. The clans are no longer at war,”
“They weren’t at war then either. Not when my village, my family was attacked. Masato did that. Masato killed them. Don’t try and make excuses for him Masaru, I don’t want to hear it. Leave if you like but do not expect me to be here waiting for you when you return,”
“Suki, that’s not fair, you know I love you but I don’t think I could live with myself as a ninja if I just stood by and watched everyone else work towards a better, safer Japan while I did nothing,”
“Leave if you must Masaru, you and I, we’re ninjas first and foremost. Suki the ninja understands. However, Suki the girl could never love anyone who would willingly work for Masato,” and with that, Suki turned around and left Masaru in the woods. That had hurt him, she could see it in his face. She didn’t turn back however, she couldn’t. She did not want him to see the tears that had begun to freely flow as she made her way back towards the village.
The next day, Masaru left. Suki didn’t care. At least she pretended not to care. However, she couldn’t help but notice the void she began to feel inside. She hadn’t felt a void like this for sometime. It was like the void she felt when she had lost her parents, her family. Now, she was feeling it all over again. Without Masaru, she did not have her rival, her friend, her love. She felt alone. No, stop thinking about it, Suki said to herself. She shouldn’t care. Masaru had betrayed her. Left her. She wouldn’t think about him anymore. Masaru was gone and she didn’t care whether or not he came back.
Knowing that she was lying to herself, Suki went to practice, keeping her mind busy. She did not acknowledge the sad looks from the other village women as she walked by. She ignored the whispers of the village men and she did not participate in the conversations that discussed whether or not Masaru was doing his village proud by leaving.
Time passed. Letters to Suki came weekly at first. Masaru knew that Suki was angry with him, knew that she wished for nothing more than to be left alone. Yet he wrote, describing his accommodations, the workings of the city and the projects that he had been put in change of to help establish a unified Japan. But slowly, after months and months of letters sent and no replies, the letters became fewer and fewer until they did not come at all. It would seem, Suki thought, that he has finally given up on her, finally forgotten his childhood rival and finally moved on. She too knew that she would have to do the same, no matter how hard it pained her to do so.
A year after Masaru had left both Suki and the village, a messenger came from the city. He was carrying two important pieces of information. First, and most importantly, it had been discovered that Masato was planning initial attacks on the Ninja clans. Secondly, one of the spies had spotted Masaru, working as Masato’s personal guard.
No more than three days after the information about Masato and Masaru arrived, Suki was called into a meeting.
“Suki, it has been decided that you are to be given your first lone mission. However, I must warn you that your assignment will not be an easy one,” Keiji said to her.
“I am ready for any task that you bestow upon me,” She replied.
“I am glad to hear this. Suki, it grieves me to tell you this, but one of our spies has informed us that Masato is planning an uprising. No longer is he willing to cooperate with the ninja clans. It would seem that his speeches and plies for a united Japan were a farce. He has removed all of the best ninjas from their villages so that he can more easily destroy the ninja clans and in doing so, gain total domination of the country. Your assignment is to kill Masato and, if necessary, anyone who gets in your way.”
“I accept.” She replied without hesitation.
“Suki, this information is highly classified. It is not known if even the ninjas that are working closest to Masato know of this,” Keiji warned.
“Yes, I understand. I accept,” Suki repeated.
She had to do it. This was what she had been waiting for. Her first lone mission, her chance to protect those she loved and to help protect the future of Japan. She knew she had to and yet she also knew that it meant. Would Masaru be there? Would she have to fight him? Kill him? She loved Masaru but she couldn’t help but wonder: if the tables were turned, would he turn down the mission to keep from having to kill her?
She couldn’t help but think that the most likely answer was no, he wouldn’t. After all, it was his drive, his competitive nature and his strong ability that she had fallen in love with. She knew he would never turn down a challenge. They both always knew that they were ninjas first and foremost. While on a mission, failure was not an option and nothing else mattered. Now she, like Masaru, had to decide on her own fate, knowing the consequences that could occur.
The rest had come naturally. Takeshi was going to accompany her. He would wait in the shadows for her, making sure that their route out of town was clear and accessible at all times. She packed light. She didn’t need much, just her travel clothes and her ninja set. She made sure to pack extra poisoned darts: they were her favorite. In what seemed like an instant, she and Takeshi had traveled the long dirt road into town and she found herself creeping up into the Lord’s castle, accessed by a small dirt road, too small to be considered important.
The castle itself was an intricate design. If Suki hadn’t been given a map of the castle’s layout before hand, she could have been lost in the castle for days. She had memorize the map, however, and therefore knew exactly where to go. The castle was not as guarded as she had thought it would be. Clearly the lord did not feel that he was in any danger. How wrong he was, Suki thought. As she turned every corner, she feared seeing him. Masaru. Where was he? Was he here? She knew that he had become one of the palace guards. She only hoped that he was not on duty tonight.
Suki finally made her way to the last hall before the Lord’s chambers. There, standing before the door was a single castle guard. Suki quietly removed one of her poisoned tipped darts and aimed. The dart hit the soldier in the side of his neck. He was dead before his body hit the ground. As she crept past the body and into the lord’s chambers, Suki kept herself from looking at his face; afraid that it would be all too familiar.
She found Masato easily enough. Sleeping quietly on his bed mat, he was unaware that he would never again see the rising sun. Never again would he rise in his bed chamber, eat breakfast or plan unnecessary attacks on innocent ninja villages. Before she moved any closer, Suki listened for a moment. His breathing was shallow and even, indicating that he was deep in sleep and letting Suki know that her movements across the room would not wake him.
Masato’s death was quick and quiet. Suki, hesitating for only a moment, remembered the screams, remembered Masato’s flag flying high among the smoke and ash. Then, she took her knife and slit the Lord’s throat. His blood spilled upon his silk night clothes, cotton mat and wooden floor, leaving an instant stain that could never be washed away. Not unlike the stain Masato had left upon Suki’s heart 12 years ago. Never again would he kill someone’s family. Never again would he destroy an innocent village. Never again would the sleeping Lord wake. As quietly and quickly as she had come, Suki was gone, leaving the Lord’s body to be found in the morning.
She was breathing heavily, her hands hurt and her feet ached but she couldn’t stop. She knew that stopping now meant imminent death. She quickly and quietly scaled the large stone wall of the Lord’s castle and dropped into the shadows along the small dirt road that she had used to first gain entrance. The road was empty then and it was empty now but she couldn’t take any risks. Remaining in the shadows, she made her way back towards town where Takeshi was waiting for her with horses.
The news of the Lord’s death would spread like wildfire and she wanted to be as far away from the town as she could before whispers of the assassination spread across town and all unknown or suspicious citizens were rounded up and brought in for questioning. She knew that if that were to happen, the chances of her leaving the town alive were slim to none. No, she had to leave and it had to be tonight. There was no time. No time to look for him. No time to explain.
She continued her way along the path until she came to a crossroad. The roads were still quiet. They had yet to find the Lord’s dead body. A good sign that everything was going to go as planned. She knew that Masaru would never understand. Would never forgive her. After all, it was his job, his duty, to protect Lord Masato. She had to do it though. She did. It was for the good of the country, the people. She couldn’t just stand by and watch as Masato did to someone else, to someone else’s village and family and friends, what he had done to her. No. She wouldn’t let him do it. So she wasn’t sorry for killing him. In fact, she was glad.
Glad that she could avenge both her family and her clan by taking Lord Masato’s life. It wouldn’t come easy though, she knew. The price of revenge is never cheap. As she finally made her way to her and Takeshi’s meeting place, she was beginning to feel confident. Everything had gone as planned and now she would be able to look towards the future: The new and promising future that she, through the death of Masato, had helped build.
“That was quick,” said Takeshi as Suki entered their meeting spot within the woods. They quickly got onto their horses and began down the same dirt road that they had used to get into the city.
“Not as quick as I would have liked. We’ll have to be careful; the sun will be coming up shortly and they’ll be after us soon enough.” Replied Suki as she settled into her saddle. She was preparing for the long, hard ride they’d have to make back to their village.
“Always the ninja first, now that’s the Su…”
Suddenly, Suki pushed Takeshi out of his saddle and out of the way. he fell into the shrubs along the path. She had heard them before she saw them, the small, almost invisible arrows that whizzed through the night air. In pushing Takeshi out of the way, she had left her self vulnerable. One of the arrows hit her hard just below her left ear. The effects were instantaneous. Suki’s body began to go limp. She could no longer hold herself up and she slid from her horse into a heap on the dirt road.
“Get going. There will be more arrows soon,” Suki half yelled at Takeshi.
“But..Suki…”
“Now Takeshi!”
Takeshi, looking torn, remounted his horse and took off. No more arrows were shot and soon he was gone from Suki’s blurring vision. She knew that he would tell Keiji what happened. That he would tell everyone how she had done it. How she had accomplished her mission. How she had protected the people.
As the world around her blurred, she suddenly smelled the now familiar scent of ajisai, something she never thought show would smell again. Suki smiled a weak smile and then, her world went black. He had beaten her, beaten her once and for all.

Roger - Deus ex Machina

Cincinnati – Aged 8

I used to have a dog. It was probably my earliest memory. It was back before Pops took me away from the home. He told me I was three then. All I can remember is it was brown, and it was mine. It made me happy, but I had trouble remembering sometimes. Pops always said I did.
One of the other boy’s dogs was hiding underneath the demo stage. He was going there to die. I know that because Pops told me so. I didn’t even have to ask. “It’s a dog thing,” he told me in between bites of his hotdog. We had had hotdogs for the past week because Pops met a guy who was selling them for “pennies on the dollar,” as he put it. Pops traded him two of his mops (that was what he did, sold mops) for two boxes of the man’s hot dogs. They were starting to smell.
The man selling electric shavers started making his final pitch and Pops started getting ready. “You get ready and wait up front for when they start handing the money over.” I hoped to God they would this time. Then maybe we wouldn’t have had to eat hot dogs anymore. After Denver I got a steak. After Chattanooga we got squirrel.
Pops made his pitch and we made out pretty well, selling four mops in that hour. The whole time he was yelling to the crowd I could hear a boy calling out for his dog. I would have told him where it was but Pops doesn’t let me walk away from the stage during his pitch. “Who the fuck else will watch the money?” He had a point there; there wasn’t nobody but me and Pops. Not until that night at least.
Sometimes Pops met up with friends after the markets or fairs closed down, especially if he had sold some of the mops. They’d go to the Gypsy woman’s tent and laugh and sing and bark at each other. Sometimes I had to help him walk back to our wagon. Meanwhile, I would play with the other boys, or if there weren’t any other boys I would just run around the tents, as Pops said we couldn’t afford toys. That night, the only other boy in Cincinnati was sitting in a tent crying either over his dog or his Pops beating him for losing it.
I was sitting out by the parking lot waiting for Pops to come back when I met who would be my best friend. I didn’t notice him walk up at first, he just kind of appeared out of the parking lot gridlock. He leaned against the same fence I was just looking out at the cars, just like I was. He was wearing a silly red suit that was real easy on the eyes.
“You like cars, kid?” he asked. I shrugged. Pops warned me to stay away from strangers. And policemen. He said they would just make things more complicated. I simply tried to ignore the man, but he seemed so interesting. He jumped up on the fence and began trying to walk it like the tight rope walkers Pops took me to in Santa Fe. He was a fairly short man. But very proportional, like maybe he was a dwarf, but a very tall one. He had fiery blonde hair that stood nearly straight up and eyes that were just a bit to skinny and a bit too far apart.
“You pitch?” I asked him. He smiled as if that was a very funny thing to ask.
“Never been much of a salesman, per se. I’m more of a persuader.” He smiled. “What’s your name?”
“Benjamin.”
“I had forgotten how strange names have gotten lately. My name’s Loki. Tell me Benjamin, how would you like to have some pizza?” My stomach growled at the sound of the word, and Loki’s smile grew immensely, quite literally from ear to ear. He leaped off of the fence and grabbed my hand as we ran off together towards the darkening fair grounds.
Mr. Petruzzi’s pizza shack was located on the other side of the fair grounds. “Does he know you?” Loki asked. I shook my head. “Fantastic!” Loki straightened himself, pulling his hair upward. He seemed to grow a foot just by doing it. Loki poked around the back of the shack, looking for some sort of entrance. He peered through a small window in the back, waving me over to him. He lifted me up to the window. Mr. Petruzzi was putting the toppings on a large pizza. The window was directly above an oven.
“Grab a match!” Loki called to me. The matches seemed impossibly far away from reach, resting on the base of the oven, not the top.
“I can’t reach it!” I replied. Loki sighed abruptly.
“Silly boy! Just reach further!” I closed my eyes and stretched my arm as far as it could go. Then further. Then further. I felt the sudden feel of wood. I opened my eyes to see my hand several feet away and grasping a match. I recoiled sharply and fell back onto Loki.
“Good job, my boy! Now, let’s have that match.”
“My arm! It kept going!” Loki giggled and walked around the building to a trash can near the shack. He lit the match off of his teeth and threw it in the can. He ran back just as the fire was beginning to catch. As Mr. Petruzzi ran out with a pale of water, Loki and I snatched the pizza from the shack’s counter and ran off back to Pops’ wagon.
Loki and I sat on the edge of the wagon, devouring slice after slice. The food was so delicious I completely forgot about the funny events of the evening. I did not know where this man had come from, or how he had done the things he had done. The moment was just too wonderful to worry about such things. After our feast we laid in the grass, grasping out stomachs. I closed my eyes and smiled. It had been the greatest night of my life. When I opened them, Pops was standing over me and Loki was gone.
“What the fuck is all this mess?” he asked, slurring his words as he did. I had no idea how to answer him. “You steal it?” The words would not come. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to my feet. “I asked you a question boy! Now you answer!”
“Yes. Loki helped me! He’s my new friend and he helped me get into the shack and he started the fire and he ate it with me and I like him so please don’t make him go away,” I shouted as directly as one can while being elevated by the hair. Pops stared at me, slightly bewildered. Finally, he set me down and belched loudly.
“Heh, good for you,” he said. “Ain’t got no friends so you make up your own. Next time you nick something you leave some of it for me. You don’t and I’ll put you right back in that orphanage.” It was a threat that I had heard often. I had learned to disregard it.
As we lay on our cots in the wagon, I saw Loki’s hair walk past the window. I slowly got up and went outside. Loki sat playfully on the fence of the parking lot. I sat on the steps and asked him the two questions that were keeping me up that night.
“Are you real?” He did not react. He simply sat, and smiled. He always smiled.
“Will I see you again?” To this he stood and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“I will be here till you needn’t need me any longer.”
Des Moines – Aged 13
Pops traded in the mops years ago for pigs, running the hog races at whatever carnival would take him. He has started to lose his voice from the years of yelling and the he was having trouble selling the mops. “Nobody trust’s my voice anymore,” he told me. He was right; I didn’t trust much of anything he said, especially after the hogs came in. It was grueling, disgusting work. The hogs were disagreeable and did nothing but eat and shit. But as he had for the past five years, Loki took care of me when Pops couldn’t. We were doing three races a day before Loki had the idea to start taking bets on the side. I was going to take the idea to Pops but Loki didn’t see why he should get a cut. But I wasn’t sure how the hell I was supposed to get away with it without telling Pops about it.
“Find that Gypsy woman and tell her what’s going on. She’ll know what to do,” he told me. I wasn’t sure what any of it meant, but the fortune teller had become of great interest to me as of late. She was the only woman in my life and taught me so many things about manhood. The chance to actually talk to her was reason enough to get me to bring the proposition to her.
Her large wooden shack always lay a bit outside of the carnival, still attracting customers while shying away the coppers. I waited outside for her to finish up with some poor mark eating up some junk about “love as hot as fire.” He left with a smile almost as big as Loki’s.
“Remember, try and look her in the eyes,” Loki whispered to me before I was walking in. She was reapplying make up in the mirror when she saw me.
“You are Pops’ boy, yes?” she said with a thick accent. My eyes were directly on the curve of her breasts. I nodded. “So what is it? He need more of his throat medicine? If he keeps on drinking during the day he’s going to run out of money right quick.” I was stunned. Her figure and the magnitude of what I had to ask had stumped me. I felt a sudden, subtle push from behind. I didn’t need to turn around to know that no one was there. The words flew out of my mouth as if they were from another’s.
“We want to start a racket with the hog races. You give us customers, we give you a cut, 80/20,” I blurted out in a voice close to mine, but a bit off.
“Betting you say. Old Charley’s up to new tricks I see.”
“My father doesn’t actually know anything about it. And, uh, we would like to keep it that way,” I replied. She burst into a cackling laughter.
“Very interesting! Well, you certainly have grown up quickly. But, you said ‘we would like to keep it that way.’ You have, how you say, partner in crime?” My palms were sweating something fierce, either because of her bust line or because I realized I made a mistake. “No worries, my darling. We make agreement, you and me and whoever you work with. I take part of money you make, and your so-called-father will never know what is going on. But it will be 50/50. Split in half.” I tried to turn my head to get a response from Loki, but the Gypsy woman looked suspiciously at me.
“Agreed!” I blurted out. She planted a wet kiss on my cheek and I walked out. I couldn’t stop smiling on the way back to the wagon, so much so that I didn’t realize that Loki was walking with me. He patted me on the back and looked like he was proud. We started pulling in the major dough after that. We hid the money in the back of the wagon and I paid the Gypsy every week. I took the bets in the back while Pops got the hogs ready out front. Loki always sat on the roof. He said he liked to see everything go down. I could tell he was getting bored so I told Pops we should start doing five races a day instead of three. He reluctantly agreed; he was old and drunk most of the time. With the additional races came additional profits. But, Loki was still bored. He would steal women’s purses and rig the Carnival games so that the marks always won, not the house. He would snicker about it later, but it never lasted. Loki had an insatiable thirst for chaos.
After a few months of the hog race racket Loki decided to take the Gypsy woman for all she was worth. From the look in his eye I knew I had no choice but to let it happen. We had enough money to take care of ourselves and even throw a bottle at Pops from time to time, but he insisted it would do nothing but good (for us). I protested when he told me I had to be involved.
“I can’t do this on my own, my boy. You won’t be there when it goes down. I just need you to do a bit of the prep work for me.” I sighed. The next time I dropped of her money she was entertaining the men with booze and dancing, just like Loki planned. I threw the money in the back and grabbed her hair brush on the way out. Loki took the hair and burned it. The flames were several feet tall, and I could see people moving inside of them. He left that night without saying a word.
The evening of the con he was pulling his hair (and himself) up to the preferred height when I asked him the only pertinent question.
“But Loki, is she going to be able to see you?” I asked.
“My good Benjamin. She will see and hear and feel all that I wish her to.”
Loki told me to stay behind but I followed him to the Gypsy’s hut. Loki straightened himself out and entered the tent. I ran up to the side of the hut and held on to the ledge of a window to see. The gypsy woman was entertaining the men when Loki walked in, but he wasn’t Loki at all. He was a tall, dark man dressed in peasant’s garbs. The woman immediately recognized him, standing in utter shock. She rushed the men out of the room and stood still with the man that was Loki. I could barely hear their words, but they were certainly not in English. They talked with a passion and intensity that made me uncomfortable. They embraced deeply and the Gypsy woman gave over to me. The man who wasn’t Loki looked up to me in the window and threw me a smile as massive as ever. I turned away and went home.
In the morning Loki returned with ten thousand dollars wrapped in the Gypsy’s gown. The carnival moved that day. As we drove away I saw the Gypsy woman calling out hysterically into the empty field. She was wearing torn clothes and had black tears streaming down her face. I went to the back of the wagon and looked at all of the money we had and cried. Loki stayed away from me.
Joliet – Aged 17
I split from Pops just over a year ago, and for too many reasons to really count. Highest of which being that he was old and I was young, and with Loki around I simply didn’t need the old man. Also, I figured out that he wasn’t my father, just a thief who needed a partner. He shot himself shortly after I left. Loki told me that father’s were overrated anyway. He was probably wrong, but I don’t ever really remember having one, so it didn’t matter.
Loki and I had immassed more money than we had any clue what to do with. It just sat in the safe we bought in Reno. We were both getting us into more trouble than we could handle. I got a job working a game of skill but I had couldn’t help but rip off the marks and the house. I ended up spending too much time hiding from cops and carnie admins that I had to quit. Loki wasn’t as upset as I thought he would be.
“You got that larceny in your heart, my boy. You just gotta work on thinking it through first,” he told me. It didn’t sit well. I didn’t want to run anymore. For the first time in my life, I realized I had a choice.
None of that mattered much to Loki. He knew we would have to leave town anyway, so he figured we might as well work a new angle before we left. Mr. Tolbert was the carnival owner and was in town for a week.
“Break into his office and find me his books, or papers, or anything that’s got his budget on it. You can always find mischief in the order of numbers,” Loki said.
He got everything ready and we were good to go in the morning. I awoke early and grabbed a bag and threw every cent we had into it. I threw it over my shoulder and headed for Mr. Tolbert’s. Loki was waiting for me in front of the building.
“You sure you know what you’re doing? You sure you know what it means?” he said.
“I guess I just need to have a choice, that’s all.”
Loki frowned for the first time in almost ten years. I walked past him and into Mr. Tolbert’s office. I gave him the bag and told him I wanted to invest in his company. He handed it to a secretary who looked at me in utter confusion. These people did not scare me. I was not intimidated. I was simply doing what I had always been doing: surviving.
That evening I went back to my tent and couldn’t find Loki anywhere. He had been around forever, and I knew he wasn’t exactly real, but he had always been around. I didn’t know how to call him, so I just went to the one place I know he couldn’t resist. “I met you here, remember? The parking lot in Cincy.”
“I have forgotten more meetings than you will ever know, my boy,” he replied. We sat up against a fence watching the chaos of the parking lot. Cars moving slowly and abruptly, the chance of a crash at any moment. People making ill informed, brash decisions that had only backwards benefits, only slowing down the group attempt at leaving in an orderly fashion.
“I made a promise, my boy. I would be by your side as long as you needed me. This is the case no longer,” he said. I wanted to hug him, but it wouldn’t be right. He would probably just steal my wallet to teach me a lesson. Instead I spit on my hand and offered it to him. He cackled with delight and spit on his and shook it. He walked out into the parking lot. He was half way through the lot when my heart nearly jumped out of my chest; a car slammed on its breaks just before it hit Loki.
“Sorry about that,” the driver said.
Loki patted the hood of the car and walked off.

13 Hours.

13 Hours
Tina Higgins


Before

Lisa was sitting in the middle of a long row of connected plastic chairs. She was bouncing her legs and looking at everything around her. There was an old couple a few seats down that kept looking over at her, smiling.
Lisa’s mom put her hand on her legs, “Lisa calm down and stop fidgeting.”
“But mom, I can’t. I’m just too excited.” Today was a big day. It was as if Lisa were completing a rite of passage into adulthood. They were flying from their home in Seattle to visit Lisa’s grandparents. Mom would stay the weekend then fly home leaving Lisa to visit alone for a week then she would fly home by herself. Her brother had done it last year when he was 13 and in two years, her little sister would do it. But right now was her turn.
There was a voice over the loud speaker. It was time to start boarding the plane. Lisa and her mom were among the first to get on. Lisa saw the rows and rows of seats 3 on one side 2 on the other with an aisle down the center. She placed her backpack full of coloring books and vampire stories and NintendoDS player and games under her seat like her mom showed her so she could get to them. Her mother helped her with her seatbelt. Lisa hated it when her mother treated her like a baby. Her mother smiled at her and said, “You’ll always be my baby.” Lisa tried to undo the seatbelt, but it wasn’t like the one in the minivan, so mom reached over and undid it. It annoyed Lisa, but she didn’t pass up the opportunity to buckle the belt herself this time.
A few rows back a man was trying to cram his overstuffed bag into the small overhead compartment. The flight attendant tried to convince the man to let her take the bag and check it with the other luggage, because it just wasn’t going to fit. He insisted it would because he had flown with it like this many times before.
Lisa looked out the window and watched all the commotion. There were people moving all over the place. A golf cart pulled up with a long line of cars behind it like a snake. Out of nowhere, a squad of men showed up and opened a panel under the plane, and moved a long conveyer belt into it. Then they opened the first snake compartment and started taking suitcases out of it and putting them on the conveyer belt. Two men rode the belt with the suitcases into the airplane. Her brother told her that was where they went through the suitcases to steal the cool things people carried. Lisa was pretty sure he was just teasing her. Still, she wished she could see what was going on more clearly.
She looked up at her mom and smiled from ear to ear. Behind her mom, Lisa saw the man was still fighting with his bag. The flight attendant had moved on to help other passengers but kept an eye on him. Most people were in their seats, reading books, listening to music or, like Lisa, looking around.
Across the aisle from Lisa was the old couple from the airport. The man was balding, with only a ring of short, grey hair running along the back of his head. The woman had short wavy hair that was more white than grey. She had big glasses that took up most of her face and a chain of gold links and tiny pearls hanging from the earpieces. She looked at Lisa and smiled.
“Where are you going young lady?” she asked.
Lisa sat up straight and proclaimed. “I’m going to Hawaii to visit my grandparents. My mom is going to leave me there and I’m going to fly back by myself. Are you going to Hawaii too?”
“Wow! You must be very mature for your mom to let you do that.” The old lady smiled at Lisa’s mom. “We are going through Hawaii. We are on our way to China to see the Great Wall.”
Finally, the flight attendant had talked the man into giving her his bag. She quickly took it and ran toward the front of the plane. Lisa looked out the window and a few minutes later saw a man carrying the same bag toward the underside of the airplane. He had to reopen the door so he could throw the man’s bag into it. He had to call for help to get the door closed because he was having trouble with it.
Another couple of minutes passed. To Lisa they seemed like years. Finally, the plane moved away from the airport and made its way to the runway. The pilot announced that they were ready for takeoff. Next stop Hawaii, and grandma and grandpa’s house!
The plane took off and Lisa looked out the window watching the airfield get smaller. Then she saw the towns; the houses and cars all looked so tiny like the toys that she played with when she was little or bored. She didn’t like to admit that she still played with toys. Then they passed over the beach. Lisa had been there a lot but she never realized how big it was. It stretched on for as far as she could see. There were all these people on it, walking around, this time they looked like little ants. Finally, they were out above the water. It glistened in the sun light. There were all these shades of green and blue. It was the most amazing thing in the world. It went on for as far as she could see out her tiny window.
She leaned back in her seat. It was all so exciting. She was so excited that she hadn’t slept the night before. But now the excitement was turning into exhaustion. She looked up at her mom and smiled. Her mom kissed her forehead one last time and Lisa drifted off to sleep.
00:00
It wasn’t an explosion. One minute they were in the air, the next in the water. The details were never clear to Lisa. Things just went wrong. An oxygen mask hit Lisa in the head, waking her up. The other people on the plane were yelling and the flight attendants were trying to get everyone to calm down and assume the crash position. She looked up at her mom who was pale but trying to put on a brave face. Lisa realized that on the other side of her mom she could see sky. Was that right? Should see be able to see clouds? What happened to the overhead compartment?
Suddenly everything was wet. Lisa’s dark blond hair was floating up around her face. Lisa felt like one of those diving rings her parents threw into the backyard pool, sinking to the bottom of the pool. The kids would race to be the first to dive in, get it, and bring it back to the surface, while her parents cheered them on. Only, there was nothing exciting or fun about this.
Lisa, weighted down by the seat belt, was pulled down deeper into the water. Then she felt the seatbelt loosen. There were hands pulling her out of her seat and pushing her up. Lisa started swimming. It wasn’t a thought but a response, an automatic reaction to things her brain hadn’t yet begun to understand.
00:15
Lisa’s head broke the surface of the water. Her hair covered her eyes and ocean water splashed into her mouth. It was warm and salty, just like at the beach. She remembered her dad telling her not to swallow it because it would make her throw up. But this water wasn’t close to the beach and her dad wasn’t there to pick her up and carry her back to the blanket. She yelled for help. She called for her mother. She screamed. She started to swim but realized that she had no idea which way to go. Surrounded by debris from the aircraft Lisa noticed something that looked like a seat from the airplane. She remembered the flight attendant saying something about them being a floatation device. She grabbed it and looked around for something else to hang onto.
She just floated.


00:45
Several pieces of the airplane floated to the surface, one of them large enough for Lisa to crawl onto. When she first tried, she felt the worst pain she’d ever had in her left arm. She looked at it and saw that is was black and blue, and twice the size as the other. She tried again and the arm gave out, it was just too painful. She rested a few minutes and tried one more time screaming in pain, but she made it. She laid her head on the seat, as tears ran down her face. Other things made their way to the surface, smaller pieces of the plane, luggage. There were other things, things Lisa didn’t want to look too closely at, so she blocked them out. She thought she saw the bag the man was trying to stuff in the overhead compartment. It was all too much for Lisa so she tried not to think about anything. She cried quietly to herself and prayed that it was all a dream. The waves provided a gentle rocking motion and Lisa started to drift off to sleep. She felt a strange sensation of safety, like a being a baby rocked to sleep in her mother’s arms.
01:45
Lisa looked up at the sky to watch the clouds go by. When she was just a kid, 3 maybe 4, her older brother used to tell her stories of the things he saw in the clouds. There were dragons that he would slay for her, evil wizards to defeat. Sometimes Mickey Mouse would stop by to see her, but mostly there was some kind of trouble that only her big brother could solve. A tree limb could be a sword or a machine gun. He was always there to rescue her. Something in the clouds caught Lisa’s eye. It was a plane. It circled around the area a few times. Maybe it saw her. She sat up straight and waved her right arm wildly. She couldn’t tell if they saw her. They circled the area a couple of times and left.
05:26
Lisa didn’t know what time it was but was sure it was almost dinnertime. Her stomach was growling. She hadn’t had anything to eat since the cinnamon roll her mom bought her in the airport. The sun was going down fast. Lisa thought it would be funny if the sun sizzled as it sank into the ocean. It would sound like the hamburgers daddy grills in the summer.
Daddy would spend all day getting things ready. He would run to the store and get a big bag of charcoal and lighter fluid, hamburger and hotdogs, soda and chips. He would go outside, arrange the charcoals in little pyramids, and soak them with lighter fluid. He would tell Mom how charcoal made food taste better than gas grills. Yes, they were quick but charcoal was much, much better. Mom would turn to the kids and wink. Daddy gave the same speech every time he grilled. Sometimes mom would help him give the speech, sometimes she would argue with him, just to get him wound up. The kids would all giggle as mom aggravated dad.
Dad put the match to the charcoal and it burst into flames. He threw his arms up and looked at the sky and yelled, “I have created fire! MAWAHAHAHA!” Then he would make caveman noises that would have the kids rolling on the ground laughing.
07:37
There were more stars out here than Lisa had seen in her whole life. Lisa tried to count them but there were just too many. She recognized some of the constellations like Orion and the Big Dipper. She learned about them in school in 6th grade. She knew that stars twinkle and planets don’t. That she learned from her dad. The stars looked like lightning bugs. Lisa thought she would need to put them in a very big jar. There was a time she and her little sister went out to catch lightning bugs. Lisa showed her sister how to grab them without smashing them in your fist and that the top of the jar had to have holes punched in it so the bugs could breathe. When her sister was little, she wanted to shake the jar to make them glow. Lisa explained that wasn’t nice. How would she like it if Lisa shook her world up like that? After a few minutes, Lisa let the lightning bugs go. Her sister cried, she had wanted to take them up to her room and keep them as pets. She promised Lisa that she would take good care of them. Lisa explained that the lightning bugs weren’t just for them, but for everyone.


10:13
The air temperature had dropped drastically when the sun went down. It became hard to breath. During a soccer game when she was 10, Lisa ran up on the girl who had control of the ball. Just as she got close enough to make a play the girl gave it the hardest kick she could. The ball hit Lisa in the stomach, and knocked the air out of her. All the girls sat down in place as the coaches and the referee ran up to her. She stood up and walked to the side of the field, replaced in the game by a teammate. Her mother walked around the field to sit with her on the blanket the team was using instead of a bench.
Lisa laid her head in her moms lap. She wanted to go home. She was tired and crabby and her tummy hurt.
“Lisa, you can’t go home, the game isn’t over. You are part of a team, and even if you don’t go back out and play, your team still needs you. You cannot just leave because you aren’t having fun. Let’s finish out this game and see how you feel.” Her mom kissed forehead and headed back to the parent’s side of the field.
After a few minutes, Lisa went up to the coach and asked to go back in. She didn’t score a goal but she finished the game. As the family walked to the car Lisa’s mom leaned over and whispered, “I’m proud of you.” Lisa cried again because she missed her mom.

13:00
The moon was at the highest point in the sky. She couldn’t focus her mind on anything. Lisa’s skin was red from the sun and wind. Her hair was stiff with salt. She was so thirsty and hungry, and her stomach hurt. She was getting weaker and weaker. She was having trouble maintaining her balance on her makeshift raft. She almost didn’t notice the pain in her arm anymore. Almost.
After
Lisa heard the boat before she saw it. Then she saw the searchlights scanning the water. One of the lights landed on her. Above the sound of the engine, she heard voices, “Look over here,” they said. “Is that a body?” someone asked. Lisa raised her head to look at the boat. “She’s alive! Captain we’ve got a survivor!”
Survivor? Were they talking about her? Lisa tried to raise her right arm to wave at the boat but she was so tired and hungry, and her left was still throbbing.
There was a splash and a white ring tied to an orange rope floated just out of arms reach. Lisa really wanted to reach out and grab it like the voices from the boat were encouraging her to do. She was tired, hungry, and thirsty. Moving was just too hard.
There was a second splash and a set of arms picked up the ring and tried to put it on her. She didn’t have the energy to help him so he put her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, he hollered up for someone to lower the rope ladder.
When it rolled down into the water, she finally understood. They were trying to take her home. She was so tired and hungry she felt like her head was full of the same water surrounding her. She tightened her limbs around him and buried her face in his neck. He climbed the ladder.
Once on board they wrapped her in a blanket, gave her a small glass of lukewarm water and some crackers. She heard people talking on the radio giving information on locations and type of wreckage they found. Every few minutes someone would walk into the room asking her name. She couldn’t speak. Her mouth wouldn’t work, and even if it did, for some reason she couldn’t remember her own name. The man who dove into the water to get her stayed with her. He shooed people away telling them she would talk when she was ready. It was the safest she had felt since waking up on the airplane.
When the boat reached the dock, in southern California, there was a group well on its way to being a crowd. There were people with microphones trying to ask her questions. Other people were there, crying, wanting to know if she belonged to them. As the man laid her on the stretcher, she looked at him and said, “My name is Lisa.”
He smiled at her and replied, “Hi Lisa. I’m Richard.” Then they slid the stretcher into the back of the ambulance and sped her to the hospital.
The nurses at the hospital cut her clothes off and very gently washed the salt off her skin. They drew blood and x-rayed her from head to toe. They placed an IV in her right arm and a cast on her broken left arm. A psychologist went with her each step of the way. He didn’t ask many questions and let her talk as much or as little as she wanted.
Finally, they put her in a room with a nice comfortable bed. The smell of the ocean was still in Lisa’s nose but now it was mingling with the smell of clean. A nurse walked in, picked up the phone, and handed it to her. Lisa placed it to her ear and heard her father’s voice. He said he would be there soon. Lisa smiled and fell asleep.
Lisa stayed in the hospital for a week. The airline flew Lisa’s dad to her. The hospital let him use the other bed in her room, even though it was against the rules. People from the airline and from the government, people from all kinds of news organizations asked her questions about the crash. She didn’t have many answers for them and she felt bad about that. The psychologist who had been part of the team that met Lisa at the Emergency Room was a constant presence. Sometimes they talked just the two of them, sometimes just with her and her dad. Sometimes he just sat in the big hospital room chair and listened. He let Lisa talk about whatever she needed to. She told him that she felt guilty that she was the only one alive, she felt bad that the old couple didn’t make it to The Great Wall. She even felt bad that guy didn’t get to have his carryon in the overhead compartment. Mostly Lisa talked about her mom and how much she missed her.
By the end of the week, most of Lisa’s bruises had faded but her arm was still in a cast. The hospital had cleared her to go home. Her father, the psychologist and Lisa talked about all the ways they could get home. A drive would take 4 days, but it would only take 2 hours to fly. There was going to be a memorial service for the other passengers the next day and Lisa wanted to be there to honor her mother and the others so she decided to fly. But when she got to the airport, she changed her mind. She was just too scared. The psychologist said that it was ok to be scared but that fear must not make our decisions for us. Lisa listened to everything and understood but it took a lot of convincing to get Lisa on the plane. The airline was allowing them to fly on a jet they used to get employees to places they needed extra crew, so they were very understanding and held the plane, the other passengers all knew who she was so they didn’t mind the wait. She walked slowly down the gangway and stood at the threshold for 30 minutes, her dad’s big strong hand on her back his voice soft in her ear telling her everything would be ok and to take her time. She didn’t have to go today if she didn’t want to, though the psychologist reminded him that to let her back out now would only set the fear permanently, making it harder in the future.
Lisa sat in her seat on the aisle then she sat in her dad’s by the window. She sat in an empty seat at the front of the plane and one in the back that an older female in a suit said she could try. Finally, she went back to her original seat buckled herself in and told the pilot she was ready. The psychologist shook her hand then her fathers and left the plane. The next two hours blurred by. Lisa remembers only the sound of the engines, her father’s voice in her ear calmly telling her she was all right and they were almost home. When the plane finally landed everyone clapped for her. The old lady in the back came forward and hugged her. Lisa hugged her back and for the first time thought maybe, just maybe it would be ok.